Ek stap stilweg deur die argief van my gedagtegang, waar ek plek-plek vir ‘n wyle langs ‘n oop deur gaan stilstaan .. soms langer as wat ek moet. En sommer net onthou.
.. want soms is dit net ek wat weet ..
EK ONTHOU
[Written by Elf – 16 December 2007]
Ek onthou ons gisters of dit netnou was
Jou glimlag bly my by
Jakarandabome wat geheime bewaar
En jy hier reg langs my
Vasgevang in ons jeug
Kinders van ons tyd
Altyd soekend, verkennend na iets meer
Jou vriendskap my profeit
Die winde van verandering wat waai
Seisoene, getye, woorde
So het ons mekaar leer ken
Op die herfswind se akkoorde
Sorgeloos verspot het ons gestap
Gespeel, geterg, gedeel
Ek onthou ons gisters of dit netnou was
Jou teenwoordigheid maak my heel
SKADU’S TEEN MY MUUR
[Written by Elf – 04 November 2006]
Ek tart die noodlot
My werklikheid deins terug
Jy is die skadu teen my muur
Die hartseer in my sug
Terwyl myle in ligjare verby my skiet
En dit my bewegingloos tot stilstand dwing
Tas my gedagtes soekend na antwoorde
Welwetende die vrae gaan my nêrens bring
Waaraan moet ek vashou
Waarin moet ek glo
Is hierdie animasie ‘n werklikheid
Of net ‘n seën van Bo
Visioene, spioene, seisoene
Maak my deurmekaar
Hoe het jy my pad gekruis
Of was jy maar nog altyd daar
Ek tart die noodlot
My werklikheid deins terug
Ek is die skadu teen jou muur
Jy bly die hartseer in my sug
UNTITLED
[Written by Elf – 26 January 2007]
Soos ‘n klein skulpie het jy eendag op my strand uitgespoel
Ek tel hom niksvermoedend op om van nader te beskou
Min het ek die waarde daarvan geken
Iets wat ek altyd in my hart wil hou
Vir alles wat jy vir my beteken
Is die klein woord dankie eintlik oorbodig
Jou skulpie is met ‘n doel op my strand
God het geweet ek het jou nodig
UNTITLED
[Written by Elf – 26 January 2007]
Hoe kry mens dit reg om so sterk te staan
Soos jy teen die lewe se wind en weer
Ek wens ek kon net ‘n stukkie van jou spore volstaan
Dis al wat ek begeer
Alles wat ek is vind ek in jou
My lewe, my hart, my anker, my kruis
Al is ek dakloos op hierdie aarde
Jou hart is altyd en oral my huis
UNTITLED
[Written by Elf – 22 January 2007]
Die puzzle van my lewe
In duisend stukkies verstrooi
Bou hom breek hom
Net een kan die prent voltooi
Sonder daardie stukkie is my prentjie leeg
Mors ek my tyd om daaraan te bou
Want hierdie mens binne-in my
Word net heel naby jou
Ek lief jou meer as die water in die see
Iets waarin ek my kan begewe
Ek kyk so baie op na jou
Jy is my wil om te lewe
WANT NET ONS WEET
[Written by Elf – 14 November 2007]
As ek my oor teen die skulp van ons vriendskap druk ..
Hoor ek jou sterk stem wat jou vir ‘n wyle nader aan my bring
Voel ek die brandende greep van jou kyk wat my deurboor
Sien ek ons storie afge-ets teen die skemerson
As ek my oor teen die skulp van ons vriendskap druk ..
Hoor ek dit wat jy nooit wou sê nie
Voel ek veilig as jy langs my sit
Sien ek die onsekerheid diep geborge in jou
As ek my oor teen die skulp van ons vriendskap druk ..
Hoor ek eindeloos
Voel ek eindeloos
Sien ek eindeloos
.. want net ons weet
.. want net ek weet
UNTITLED
[Written by Elf – 31 January 2008]
I remind myself to remember to breathe
For death might come way too soon
Tall dark trees in the black of night
Their arms stretched high towards the silver moon
A windless night on this midsummers eve
As I lie awake on my bed
Tomorrow morning the sun will shine
But tonight it’s raining in my head
Empty hands with nothing to bare
Though everything in life comes with a price
I pray to God to show me the way
To melt this heart back to ice
WINTERKOUE
[Written by Elf – 02 July 2008]
die winterkoue het sy winterkloue stewig om my hart gevou
waar sy ys-greep letsels in my binneste brand
ek skryf jou naam in die stof op my skoene
terwyl ek wonder hoe het ons hier beland
die winterkoue met sy winterkloue hou nog so n bietjie langer vas
terwyl ek my hand teen die glasruit hou
ek onthou jou in gisters en wens jou in môres
die wegstap is seer .. maar ek doen dit vir jou
HAAR HANDE
[Written by Elf – 11 July 2008]
Hande wat vriendelik waai as ek werk toe ry
Met die belofte van ek sien jou weer
Hande wat opgewonde deure oopsluit
Met my sonsak-terugkeer
Hande wat elke dag met liefde
‘n Bord koningskos vir my voorberei
Hande wat skoonmaak en skottelgoed was
En geen moeite ontsien vir my
Hande wat die pad aandui
Wanneer ek hopelooslik verdwaal
Hande wat elke keer vergewe
Wanneer ek faal
Hande wat beskermend om my vou
Vir ‘n drukkie vol liefde en omgee
Hande wat saggies oor my wange streel
Om my trane af te vee
Hande wat oop is om altyd te gee
Minder as wat jy vra
Hande wat altyd uitgestrek is
Gereed om my te dra
Hande wat saamvou en saggies fluister
As jy my opdra in jou gebed
Hande wat elke dag myne vat
En elke uur my lewe red
Sonder jou hande beteken ek niks nie
Sonder jou hande is ek swak en blind
Sonder jou hande is ek verlore
Maar ewig en altyd bly ek jou kind
AWAY
[Written by Elf – 13 July 2008]
The open road
Forever calling my name
In the opposite direction
Hence I came
Away
Away
Away .. from you
Keep walking
Eyes closed
Hands open
A million miles away
Away
Away
Away .. from me
Remember not to cry
Just keep on walking
One step closer to
Destination anywhere
Away
Away
Away .. from us
VOETE VAN KLEI
[Written by Elf - 25 August 2008]
kaalvoet kinders in die reën
rondomtalie ek en jy
hande vat en draai en draai
sorgeloos en kommervry
trap die modder vas en los
soos ons skaterlag weerklink
totdat alles om ons blurry raak
behalwe jou oë wat voor my blink
die momentum draai ons om en om
ons vingers hou al stywer vas
kinderlik dronk van plesier
vandag soek ons dit in ‘n glas
ons dans onder die druppels
vandag noem ons die game ‘die lewe’
dis val en opstaan en weer begin
die ritme van vergeet en vergewe
volwasse kinders in die reën
rondomtalie ek en jy
vat my hand en hou styf vas
as jy laat los dan gaan ek gly
die grondpad is vandag geteer
ek hoor die eggo van diep smart
totdat alles om ons blurry raak
die val is eensklaps baie hard
die kinders in ons hou vas aan mekaar
ten spyte van woorde wat ons verraai
en ek wonder stilweg wat is die prys
van nog een laaste laaste draai
EK FLUISTER JOU NAAM
[Written by Elf – 25 August 2008]
koffie, kuier, kerslig, kerk
bruin, rooi, oranje, geel
elke oomblik is spesiaal
as ek dit met jou kan deel
jy verhef my eenvoudige rympies tot poetry
tel my op, dra my en lig my tot bo
jou onvoorwaardelike liefde en aanvaarding
het vir 32 jaar onwrikbaar in my geglo
jou moederhart se deure
altyd wawyd oop vir my
‘n beter ma kon ek nie vra nie
ek het rééds die beste: jy
my dankie is eenvoudig
maar my liefde bly getrou
in die binnekamers van my hart
staan ‘n monument vir jou
SKOENLAPPER
[Written by Elf – 28 August 2008]
die fladderende skoenlapper word nader genooi
om vir ‘n wyle in jou handpalm te rus
jy gaan hom nie vasvang of seermaak nie
net saggies sy vlerke streel om hom te sus
swart fluweel in die namiddagson
terwyl jy hom beskerm
met deernis, sorg en liefdevol
jou oor sy hartjie ontferm
hy kan daar sit vir solank hy wil
om weer sy asem terug te kry
jou hand altyd oop net soos jou hart
soos jou omgee vir die skoenlapper .. vir my
BALLADE VAN DIE RYLOPER (II)
[Written by Elf - 10 September 2008]
geluidloos langs my stilgehou
terwyl ek, ryloper
ewe geluidloos
elke decibel
my storie vertel
die skulp van jou oor
het goedsmoeds
die woorde van my enkeling-ballade
lettergreep vir lettergreep
ingesluk
waar jy
rustelose siel
vreemdeling-vriend
my onwetend gelei het
na waters van rus
GEDAGTES IN BLOHM
[Written by Elf – 19 August 2008]
ek sien die woorde op my skerm
ek kyk op
sien jou
voel klein
en vir nou is jou lettergrepe
dit wat die spasies tussen my eie vul
dankie vir die klippie teen my glasruit
die impak was meteories
skerwe
splinters
stof
ja ons is almal stof
en eendag
sal ek vandag onthou
en weet
dis ‘n fine memory
THE GREAT BELOW
[Written by Elf - 12 October 2008]
The moon is up the stars are bright
And phantom figures run
The darkness is their playground
Where they can hide from the sun
With powder smiles and bicycles
They descend to the great below
Where a fragile gypsey Desert Rose
Meets the restless soul of a Scarecrow
They live their lives in monochrome
In shades of black and grey
If only the world was colour blind
They would not have fallen prey
But I see you as you see me
The tongue we speak is exactly the same
You were a stranger that crossed my path
But somehow you allready knew my name
I need you to promise me
You’ll keep on holding on
To be the best that you can be
Until this race is won
The moon is up the stars are bright
And phantom figures understand
That friendship is a priceless gift
When you lend a helping hand
So here’s my hand take it quick
Without a doubt or with delay
Please let me be your friend for a while
Before the gypsey walks away
I know that you are afraid
Of many things unknown
Remember I believe in you
Not a single day you walk alone
So turn around at any point
And in the shadows I will be
A desert rose amongst the thorns
A scarecrow once found me
1953
[Written by Elf - 24 October 2008]
neentien drie en vyftig
is ‘n jaar wat se lof ek besing
vyf en vyftig jaar gelede
het dit vir my ‘n engel gebring
gebore in ‘n dorpie klein
die kerk se toring wit
my hande in dankbaarheid saamgevou
hier waar ek vir jou bid
want ek moet hulde bring aan een
wie se hande my elke dag dra
‘n vertroueling en beste vriend
my dominee my dokter my ma
altyd nederig in die skaduwee
sien jy na ander om
ek weet verseker in God se tuin
is jy die mooiste blom
liefde vergifnis aanvaarding respek
geborge in een enkele mens
met jou kan ek alles in my lewe deel
‘n traan ‘n droom ‘n wens
ek wonder skielik hoe mens dankie sê
sodat ek weet jy sal verstaan
dat sonder jou liefde is my lewe leeg
is my menswees ‘n nuttelose bestaan
neentien drie en vyftig
is ‘n jaar wat ek herdenk
die engel het my ma geword
my heel grootste geskenk
hierdie is ‘n mylpaal dag
ons vier dit hier en nou
geskenke toegedraai het ek nie
maar my hart gee ek vir jou
vandag is joune ma
en jy moet lekker verjaar
mag ek Jesus ‘n groot guns vra
om jou vir baie baie jare te spaar
GISTER TWEE MAANDE
[Written by Elf – 27 October 2008]
ek dink nog elke dag aan jou
en die drome
wag ek quote jou
breek soos branders oor rotse
van wat kon wees
die memories speel in high definition
in die gypsey se kristalbal
en tog kleurloos
gestroop van emosie
soos ‘n ou swart en wit tv
want twee maande gelede
het ons paaie gevurk
op die grondpad van wat was
jou spore oudergewoonte op die kortpad
en ek wat ‘n detour vat
ek wat rigtingloos verdwaal
want my kompas het my verlaat
en skielik my in ‘n kring bevind
van vreemdeling engele vriende
wat sorgsaam en beskermend oor my waak
op ‘n stadium gewens vir haat
want so sou ek makliker ja
ironies jou naam kon vergeet
maar myself elke keer hande gevou
jou naam hoor fluister in gebed
musiek sal altyd ons geheime verklap
al was jou lewe en jy ‘n leuen
ek het my hart vir jou groentrui verruil
twee wiele en n stofpad
helmet-loos ons koppe gestamp
die sleutel draai stadig ek pak dit weg
vir eendag se onthou maar
net-net te ver buite my bereik
asseblief help my vergeet
breek daai kristalbal nou
die skerwe le versprei in die vertrek
ons verhaal in animasie op die vloer
hoekom het ek geen regrets nie
waarom is ek dankbaar ons het gebeur
my enigma to have and to hold
ek vertrou myself nie genoeg
om weer van my kant af kontak te maak nie
jou leuens is die melodieë waarop my voete dans
jou oë my spieëls jou stem my swakpunt
was jy net so klein bietjie lief vir my
jy het my alfabet complete
jy was lieflik dierbaar spesiaal verby
die yin en yang het kwaad geword
gesmudge in grys definisieloos
verbrokkel tot poeier pasop vir die wind
soos óns gebreek
jou distraction
die pouseklok het gelui
my hart vir ‘n appel en ui ingetrade
in wens ja net in wens
ek groet en
ek wonder
was jy net so klein
klein klein bietjie
lief vir my
PIANO WIRES
[Written by Elf – 02 November 2008]
you left your world
temporarily
to follow the melody of misery
as the lonely violin
kept on calling your name
leading you away from the light
venturing into the unknown
you walked through passages
of broken buildings
the architectural blueprint
long forgotton as
dreams turned to dust
hallways decorated
with empty picture frames
the violin fading into a whisper
with every closer step you take
no longer playing the bow
writing your name in the sand
behind a shattered glass window
you found me tucked away
in the darkness of the light of day
come close your eyes and walk my dear
here I am this is me
my name is written in the sand
bring your violin along
for I saw a piano on my way here
it might be out of tune I protested
just walk beside me and
keep the blindfold on
for the light might hurt your eyes
we came to a halt on this journey unknown
you sat me down beside you patiently
waiting for my eyes to adapt to the light
while you softly explained
that what I knew as day
was in actual fact your night
your brown eyes smiled
while you kept mine hostage
your shoulder against mine
and an a capella whisper saying
you can tell everybody
that this is your song
the piano was false and out of tune
the silence deafening
I picked up my violin
and together we played
unrehearsed with nothing but trust
for you never knew my name
you paused and smiled
and winked at me
out of tune indeed
the melody of misery forgotten
but when we play together
listen to the magic
we resumed our song
and completed it with ease
I hope you don’t mind
that I put down in words
how wonderful life is
while you’re in the world
WOORDE
[Written by Elf – 09 November 2008]
my woorde aan jou rym lankal nie meer nie
hul het hul ritme verloor
asof hul haastig is
verkies het om leestekens te vermy
in die hoop om jou
sonder lettergrepe
dalk net
gouer
te vind
KOFFIE, PEN EN PAPIER
[Written by Elf – 09 November 2008]
my café mocha groet my
hier agter in my koningsblou hoek van die Wimpy
ek vou my hande om die glas
dit is warm soos jou glimlag
donkerbruin soos jou oë
wanneer hulle met my eie hande vat
ek glimlaggend aan jou dink
wanneer my mond die skuim soen
en my oë soekend oor die geboë rand van die glas
staar na die leë stoel oorkant my
daar waar jy moes wees
om skertsend my ore
met die musiek van jou stem te vul
en soos my gunsteling koppie koffie hier
alleen agter in my hoek van die Wimpy
my menswees met jou teenwoordigheid vol te tap
en my hartjie
durf ek sê
te versadig
THE GIRL ON THE OTHER SIDE OF HERE
[Written by Elf - 30 November 2008]
sometimes
I wish
the mirror
had no reflection
the empty eyes
staring back at me
with disgust
I wish
hmm
I wish
them
blind
the reflection
I wish
it away
I am tired
of fighting
that familiar
stranger
over
and over
tired of
losing
every single time
not strong enough
not good enough
not pretty enough
not not not
who
please tell me
who
is that
fcuking stranger
staring back at me
through
the looking glass
DESERT ROSE
[Written by Elf - 13 Desember 2008]
there she was
bound to the desert
a restless soul
gypsey woman
held prisoner
by the freedom
offered by the dunes
where solitude became
her new best friend
yet he came
the weary traveler
walking in faith
knowing not what he would find
nor where this road would lead
a trail of dust
particles of sand in the wind
followed his footsteps
like a shadow
heading towards the ruins
in the distance
far away
distant
like the girl
to which his steps
would carry him
a weary traveler
knowing not what he would find
towards her he walked
blindfolded by the sun
closer he came
further away she moved
evasive
like a mirage
when sand turns to liquid
and evaporates
before you can touch it
yet there she was
bound to the desert
a restless soul
gypsey woman
held prisoner
by the freedom
offered by the weary traveler
where he became
her new best friend
I PAINT WITH WORDS NO MORE
[Written by Elf - 18 December 2008]
no longer do i
put my trust in words
they fail me
betray me
tell my secrets to the world
and then
turn around
and laugh at me
together with its people
words paint dreams
often sculpt
previously unspoken
wishes
then unexpectedly
draws a sword
shreds sentences
into words
syllables
degrades it
to mere letters
it slices
dreams
wishes
promises
friendships
words
so freely given
shared with
well
everybody
anybody
who cares to listen
whose eyes
are willing to indulge
yet words
once spoken
can never
ever
be taken back
or made
undone
maybe forgiven
perhaps forgotten
but never
ever
made undone
words
teach us
in any language
that often
most of the times
kom
spyt
te
laat
OM TE WENS
[Written by Elf - 27 December 2008]
ek wens ek kon
oop oë
onder die water
van jou menswees swem
ek wens ek kon
elke ster in die swart hemel
op sy naam roep
om spesiaal vir jou te skyn
ek wens ek kon
my skaduwee
selfs net vir ‘n dag
langs joune inkleur
ek wens ek kon
wens ek kon
wens ek
wens ..
SÊ MY HOE?
[Written by Elf – 14 January 2009]
hoe kan ek my pen neerlê
as jy jou hand oor myne sit
en my reënboog saam met my
in ‘7 shades of black’ inkleur
hoe kan ek wegstap
van die tweede kans in vriendskap
wat jou hand in die pot goud
aan die einde daarvan geteken het
hoe kan ek daardie papier opfrommel
weggooi soos ‘n vensterkoevert
juis wanneer ek besef
die rekening sê ‘I owe you’
hoe kan ek ..
hoe kon ek ..
wat is ek ..
sonder jou?
ADDICTED
[Written by Elf – 18 January 2009]
ek vind myself bietjie verslaaf aan die jy in jou
wanneer my oorskulp bakhand staan
en elke decibel van jou stem dankbaar opvang
terwyl ek die vars reuk van jou somerreën-klanke
wat saggies op my gemoed val
inasem en vir ‘n wyle in my longe laat vertoef
voor ek dit saggies op die vlerke van ‘n sug
soos ‘n skoenlapper in die wind vrylaat
ek vind myself bietjie verslaaf aan die jy in jou
wanneer ek my lig afskakel en jou my laaste gedagte vind
en afstand skielik meer word
as die reguit lyn tussen twee gegewe punte
wanneer die oggendson sy hand saggies op my skouer sit
en in my oor fluister dis tyd om te ontwaak
en my gedagtes reeds met die oopmaak van my oë
struikel oor jou naam
ek vind myself
hopeloos
verslaaf
aan jou
please don’t
wake me
from this
dream
DISSOLVING
[Written by Elf – 19 January 2009]
ONE CAN ONLY POSTPONE THE INEVITABLE ..
she slowly lifts
the bleeding violin
one last time
as she plays a requiem
while the violin dances to
the death of words
the bittersweet sound
of a deafening silence
filling the air
as she disappears
into the shadows
of the night
forgotten
mortal
undead
forever
lost
me
i
.. FOR SO LONG.
RUNNING
[Written by Elf – 23 January 2009]
running running running
forever running
make me stop
lock the door
I beg you
hide every possible path
I hear it calling my name
make me fall
even with my eyes open
it’s pulling me away
hold on please
I’m tired
but not tired enough
make me stay
take my hand
draw me closer
I feel it’s grasp
around my ankles
it’s not letting go
break the curse
heal the wounds
paralyse my soul
give me a reason
to stand still
to stay here
to just stop
running
SUFFOCATE
[Written by Elf – 30 January 2009]
locked inside the walls of this body
every turn a dead end street
too crowded in here
not enough space
for me myself and i
suffocating
no windows
only mirrors
lifeless eyes
creeping up on me
stop staring
back at me
i’m begging
heart of stone
pumping black blood
through ice cold veins
somebody tell me
how do I unzip my skin
and walk away from me
not enough space
too crowded in here
every turn a dead end street
locked inside the walls of this body
VAMPIRE KISS
[Written by Elf – 01 February 2009]
i am a prisoner
of the spell you cast over me
when you vampirically
took ownership
of my soul
and drew it from me
like poison from
a bleeding wound
healing the yin
forsaking the yang
making me whole again
making me
human
making me
yours
making me
me
DISTANCE
[Written by Elf – 01 February 2009]
hold me closer
further away from you
make sense
give answers
prevent damage
save me
from
myself
SATINE
[Written by Elf – 01 February 2009]
raven black hair
grows as we speak
longer and longer
to cover my face
hide my lifeless eyes
once autumn brown
until it becomes a curtain
between me and their stares
me and their glares
i want to kill her for you
become her for you
the person you believe you see
behind that curtain
on the stage
as the sun sets
over our moulin rouge
WORD-STAINS
[Written by Elf – 01 February 2009]
honger vir hand op papier
aptyt vir woord-gedagtes
wat hulself swart en sierlik
vanuit my oorversadigde pen
leegbloei op die ligblou strepe
leestekens ignoreer
taalreëls verwerp
ek naderhand
rebels
uitasem
moeg
stil word
in woord
BOUNCE
[Written by Elf - 01 February 2009]
take my heart
rip it out
go ahead
it’s ok
you can’t kill
the already dead
throw it against the wall
let it make its mark
fingerprints in red
bounce back
like a rubber ball
like the toy
that it has become
watch it fall
fake a beat
play dead
tired
worn
torn
broken
and i suddenly wonder
was it ever whole
to begin with?
REST IN PIECE(S)
[Written by Elf – 01 February 2009]
bury my name in your heart
let me haunt it forever
let me be your best kept secret
hide me in the dungeons of your soul
let me be forgotten
to the world
nothing but a faded picture
jaded memory
shadow
becoming one
with the nothingness
wrapped in darkness
my name on a tombstone
buried in your heart
SHADOW OF A GYPSYCROW
[Written by Elf – 28 January 2009]
phantom figure
against the wall
walk beside me
break my fall
take my hand
hold it tight
don’t let me go
help me fight
run away with me
into a dream
hear my whisper
silence my scream
following me
wherever I go
my mirror image
my shadow
phantom figure
against the wall of my heart
let the journey begin
this is our brand new start
a monochrome world
seen through our eyes
where we grow closer
forget our goodbyes
a gypsy and a scarecrow
hand in hand
shadows against the wall
forever we stand
JOU SKRIF TEEN MY MUUR
[Written by Elf – 27 January 2009]
jou poetry gespray-paint
teen die mure van my hart
het jy graffiti style jou silhouette
vas aan myne geteken
hande wat vat in animasie
skadu’s teen die muur
jou klank die song in my oor
die anthem van my seisoen
jou stem fluweelsag
soos die gordyne op die stage
ons leer lankal nie meer woorde nie
die teks kom uit die hart
my beautiful stranger
vlerklose wonder
waar kom jy vandaan
the scarecrow chased my fears away
ek trade my plastiek glimlag
vir n honest happy traan
Hold your light
Hold your light
Hold your light where i can see it
LASTO BETH NIN
[Written by Elf – 04 February 2009]
Y ou appeared and cast a shadow
O ut of the darkness you came
U nannounced taking my hand into yours
R escuing me running away with me
E scaping to a world only we know of
M y compass in the darkest night
Y ou give direction you bring light
E mpowering me to soar above the woods
V ultures can hurt me no more
E ngraving my name in the palm of your hand
R estless souls running two become one
Y ou are the faith inside of me
T hrough every hour of each day
H onestly I can’t deny
I love you forever if I may
N othing will ever erase those words
G the only letter in my alphabet
*Lasto Beth Nin: Elvish for ‘Hear My Voice’
GYPSYCROW CHEMISTRY
[Written by Elf – 05 February 2009]
you’re my tourniquet
my nymphetamine boy
you somehow stop the bleeding
ease the pain
calm my fears
erase the stains
you secrete my tears and
set me free of that which holds me hostage
you declare it void
fill my veins
with your oxygen
my sweet breath of life
my lithium heart
exposed to your precious face
crimson turning white
as we drown our tears
forget the past
your nitrogen name engraved in my heart
* Lithium: When placed over a flame, lithium gives off a striking crimson colour, but when it burns strongly, the flame becomes a brilliant white. Lithium will ignite and burn when exposed to water and water vapours in oxygen. It is the only metal that reacts with nitrogen at room temperature.
OWNED
[Written by Elf - 06 February 2009]
this world
self-proclaimed perfection
yet they adore the beauty of their rainbows
with colour-blind eyes
this world
self-proclaimed perfection
yet they feed their hungry children
with photo-shopped printed media
this world
self-proclaimed perfection
yet they love and caress their people
with the hands of abuse
this world
self-proclaimed perfection
yet they inhale the sweet odour
of the flowers of corruption growing wild
this world
self-proclaimed perfection
yet they indulge in the taste
of currencies world wide
this world
un-proclaimed sinners’ haven
yet senselessly omitting one single letter
find (t)His world, find Heaven
DIE EGGO VAN ‘N SUG
[Written by Elf – 25 February 2009]
ek hoor my asem sug
terwyl ek die stofspoor van ‘n droom
van my hande afvee
vingers wat wens
hmm ..
droom
hoop
verlang
om die kontoere van jou gesig
soos braille te lees
die uitdrukking op jou gesig
vir ‘n wyle vas te hou
terwyl ek
siende blind
met my vingerpunte
die diepte van jou oë meet
terwyl ek
horende doof
die kreukels
van jou frons wegstreel
terwyl ek
stille runaway
dors na die trane
wat krake in jou wange vloei
terwyl ek
camera obscura
die buitelyne van jou gesig
drie-dimensioneel probeer inkleur
terwyl ek
terwyl ..
ek siende blind
horende doof
stille runaway
camera obscura
my pad na jou asem vind
die woorde soos blomme
van jou mond pluk
sonder dat jy hoef te sê
ek hoor my asem sug
terwyl ek die stofspoor van ‘n droom
terwyl ek
terwyl
vingers wat wens
‘n Ingrid Jonker doen
in die oseaan
waaraan my oë intussen geboorte gegee het
drome wat breek
soos branders teen rotse
van wat kon wees
ek (wens ek) hoor jou asem sug
LAMENT
[Written by Elf – 11 March 2009]
ek flos die kamers van my hart
met die einste hakiesdraad
wat nou die grens tussen ons span
soos ‘n pleister oor die snare van my donker viool
trek jy die woorde soos note een vir een
akoesties uit my siel
het jou menswees simfonies
vir my ‘n nuwe lewe gekomponeer
die fluweel-swart gordyn vir altyd gelig
die bladmusiek van jou karakter
bly my encore en maak jou die ster
wyl ek tien swart rose voor jou voete lê
‘n laaste wals op maat van jou refrein
voetspore bedek onder winter se wit kombers
bly jy kleurvol-ironies my ewigdurende lente
LITTLE STAR
[Written by Elf – 19 March 2009]
Little star shining bright
Against the soft black velvet sky
Little star bringing light
Lifting my dark soul up high
Little star catch my tears
They fall like rain from your skies
Little star drown my fears
Before my dark soul dies
WHEN MEMORY CALLS
[Written by Elf – 19 March 2009]
elevated into the depths of remembrance
i find myself behind bars
caged in by the thought of you
my memories of you
scattered like scrabble pieces on the floor
trying to make sense of the spaces in between
time becomes my new currency
as it slow dances with my soul
‘going forward in reverse’
my metronome
swaying back and forth
between my memories and my dreams
‘moments lost though time remains’
‘no more tears’
until – memory calls ..
TIRED
[Written by Elf – 22 March 2009]
running through the woods
out of breath
shapeless shadows
chasing one another
fugitives
trying to get away
escape in time
be free
i’m running
out of breath
looking over my shoulder
recognizing the face
trying to get away
escape in time
out of breath
be free
run
out of breath
get away
don’t turn around
go
looking over my shoulder
too tired
recognizing the face
i can’t anymore
keep on running
out of breath
running away
recognizing
i’m tired
running
away
from
me
MEMORIES
[Written by Elf – 27 March 2009]
M emories of you
E ase the pain inside
M akes me smile with tears in my eyes
O r becomes the fortress in which I hide
R emembering every dimension of you
I n my heart you will always be near
E mpty now the space beside me
S ecluded – I’ll always love you my dear
TIME
[Written by Elf – 28 March 2009]
time flows like a river
seasons change
as the neverending relay continues
between seconds and minutes and hours
and tomorrow becomes yesterday
far too soon
the time for life is now
even though we’re blind-folded
ignorant of what awaits around the next turn
maybe the best is yet to come
what if we close our eyes and walk
and dare to live just this once
don’t let the seasons catch you off-guard
never lose your game
take of the blind-fold
for time flows like a river
step into the water
and allow yourself to feel
(NOT WANTING) TO LET GO
[Written by Elf – 13 April 2009]
unlock my fingers one by one
I beg you teach me to let go
dearest beloved please loosen my grip
why you’re haunting me I do not know
tears swept away by the autumn wind
like your so-called love for me
you’re no longer here but your prisoner I remain
bound by your bewitching spell when will you set me free
add anger and hatred to that potion
make me like you a whole lot less
cure me from this venomous addiction
silence me before my love I confess
unlock my fingers one by one
I beg you teach me to let go
my heart is bleeding empty here
as it writes your name in the snow
dearest beloved please loosen your grip
you’re slowly suffocating me
forever your prisoner I remain
and yet I’m the one holding the key
A BLINDFOLDED WISH
[Written by Elf – 15 April 2009]
you’ve been gone for too long
yet even now the memory of you
is a placebo to cure the I in me
rhymeless and rythmless
your unspoken voice
pacifies the storms within
drowning voluntarily into your eyes
I want to descend at the speed of light
into the great below of whó you are
become the anchor kneeling
in the core of your soul
and thank Him
.. for I have finally arrived
WONDER
[Written by Elf - 07 May 2009]
met uitgestrekte arms wat my lankal nie meer verwelkom nie
staan jy in ‘n veld vol van gister se onthou
jou loodswaar kop geboë na die grond
steek die vlak gevoelens in jou diep-donker oë vir my weg
jy hou wag oor die kom en gaan van die seisoene
terwyl die herfsblare teen jou verlamde lyf vaswaai
en ek soekend op die grond na vergifnis tas
in die skadu van jou kruis-kloon-silhouette
jy stap sonder spore geanker op een plek
harteloos by my verby
ek kniel op die grond met ‘n hand vol strooi
en wonder was jy net so kléin bietjie lief vir my
VERGETE GYSELAAR
[Written by Elf – 10 May 2009]
jy hardloop sorgvry die toekoms in
my hart soos ‘n kite aan ‘n tou
bietjie lag en bietjie huil
ek wonder of jy my naam onthou?
leë beloftes en doodloopstrate
verklap die koördinate in ons verhaal
nou skryf ek simpel rympies
oor die wonder van ons verdwaal?
ek hardloop alleen die toekoms in
my hart eens ‘n kite aan ‘n tou
jou lag eggo teen my trane vas
het jy vergeet om vas te hou?
VERSLINT
[Written by Elf – 17 May 2009]
ek proe nog jou soet naam op my lippe
terwyl my spore net dieper en dieper sak
jou skaam glimlag wat soos veters deur my newels ryg
verdrink ek in die dryfsand van jou hart
ALBASTERS
[Written by Elf - 24 May 2009]
jy skiet al jou albasters
in die gatjie van my hart
klein glas-oog planete waarmee
jy my wêreld stukkend spat
jou woorde rol roekeloos oor die vloer
ek kniel en tel hul biddend op
huisves jou sinne in die palm van my hand
terwyl my hart by jou verby galop
stukkende albasters oral op die vloer
glasstukke maak wonde in die vlees
ek sit my hand bewend op die splinters neer
daar … waar jy moes wees
MY SILENT SUFFOCATION
[Written by Elf - 04 June 2009]
what a beautiful mourning
as my tears become one with the rain
safe in the arms of sorrow
my heart a wreath of pain
i dwell in unrequited love
every waking hour
beautiful stranger don’t you see
my soul was yours to devour
YOUR FORGOTTEN YESTERDAY
[Written by Elf - 19 June 2009]
winter has forgotten me outside your window
my numb fingers paralyzed by the cold
frozen palms held pleading towards you
the hands you’ve forgotten to hold
JADED BROWN
[Written by Elf – 12 July 2009]
the pouring rain running across my face
taking with it the colour of my eyes
faded now the windows to my soul
my love for you was my demise
WORDS FAIL
[Written by Elf – 12 July 2009]
this place
an empty space
not a trace
of your face
leather and lace
no more grace
slowing the pace
for death’s embrace
CLOSE-UP
[Written by Elf – 13 July 2009]
oh what lovely dress you have
velvet and satin and fine black lace
a victorian lady in the light of day
raven dark hair and a porcelain face
but woe the day you break that mould
with dark black smudges under your eyes
a pale white face and scarlet lips
you’ve gotto be one of the devil’s spies
mirror mirror on the wall
who’s reflection is that I see
the poison-girl-drama-queen in their eyes
or the failure known as lil’ old me?
NEVERMORE
[Written by Elf - 27 July 2009]
a fist of flesh bangs against the mirror
shards of glass scattered across the floor
her silent scream echoes in the voice of the raven
when the animated pieces proclaim nevermore
she wishes only to disappear
hence the way she came
a nobody in the nothingness
a naked shadow without a name
black venom shadow girl
with the death look in her eyes
a fist of flesh bangs against the mirror
you are the one that I despise
TEARS OF THE DEAD
[Written by Elf - 03 August 2009]
no need to dry your eyes
for even though they are not blind you will never see
the truth for what it is alas
a fairytale not meant to be
accept that you’re a dreamer
that lies can never be undone
admit that love is but a fallacy
and you my dear are entitled to none
being trapped within a certain space
can become unbearable at times
but once that space becomes you
suffocation becomes a crime
ASHES
[Written by Elf - 05 August 2009]
ashes to ashes
flames to dust
dreams to a whisper
friendship to lust
so near so far
so everywhere
so lost so found
so extremely rare
you have never belonged to me
and yet I claim you to be mine
camera obscura in a monochrome world
hand in hand with the Angel Divine
silly rhymes and empty words
with spaces in between
how I wish for things to change
for miracles unseen
from lust to friendship
from whispers to screams
from dust to flames
resurrecting my dreams
MIS-JOU AANDE
[Written by Elf – 16 August 2009]
onbeskryflike volmaakte bruin oë
waarin ek opnuut elke dag verdrink
‘n fluweelsagte dryfsand-siel
waarin my menswees chronies wegsink
hoe rewind ek my gevoel vir jou
tot twee vreemdelinge op een tapyt
en waarom-ironies is dit so
dat spyt rym met verwyt
wens ek kon haar plek volstaan
en feature iewers in jou verhaal
maar ongelukkig is ek nie sy nie
en jy het weg van my verdwaal
my spooklag eggo as die van ‘n sug
van splinters onbeskore drome
tog hou skadu’s iewers hande vas
binne die cabin onder ons bome
ALL THAT REMAINS
[Written by Elf - 24 August 2009]
slit the wrists of my thoughts
deny them entry into my consciousness
just become an empty shell on a seashore
once inhabited by another soul
now deserted
left as a second hand pick-me-up
for curious feet passing me by
waiting for sunset
longing for the fingers of the ocean
to collect my restless remains
when a full moon spring tide
carries me away
and hides me in the depths
beneath the eb and flow
of the liquid darkness
and tucks me into great below
IN THE WINTER OF MY SECOND DEATH
[Written by Elf - 31 August 2009]
the frostbite of winter’s subtle kiss
draws the contours of my face
pale white skin and dark brown eyes
solitude within a crowded space
I dance with me and I alone
to celebrate the birth of a new season
colour and sunshine and all things bright
a poker-face smile without a reason
I bid winter a joyous farewell
but it refuses to let me go
tears in the rain a common disguise
yet all, but you, the truth will know
EMPTY
[Written by Elf - 06 September 2009]
I have become an empty shadow
leaving pieces of me behind
my reflection is that of a stranger
hoping one day a part of me you’ll find
I tie black ribbons around their wastes
as I wave good mourning to the trees
I feel their breath brushing through my hair
as they whisper hello in the breeze
I pick the fallen stars like flowers
as they lie lifeless on the ground
unlit candles within their bellies
forgotten in the dark not to be found
I am the stranger without a face
my scattered soul like fragmented debris
hoping one day to comlete the picture
and face the reality of the reflection of me
LINGER
[Written by Elf – 10 September 2009]
articulately whispering my screams
while I betray the birth of a brand new day
silently hoping the night would stay for breakfast
and witness with me the new sun shining grey
I beg thee night return to me and
cradle me gently underneath thy dark veil
carry me back to my monochrome world
where I put the rainbow back up for sale
OPGEDRA AAN ‘N VLERKLOSE ENGEL
[Written by Elf – 01 October 2009]
die musiek van jou siel begelei my lag
jou sagte hande werk mooi met my smart
so pak jy my bietjie-bietjie weg
veilig in die kreukels van jou hart
jy bêre my asem in jou briefie-boks
en onthou elke dag om my te vergewe
my moeghart frons en wonder opnuut
hoe verdien ek jou in my lewe
TWAALF
[Written by Elf – 25 October 2009]
let me exhale safely
into the palm of your hand
while you reap my soul and
witness the rising of the wraith
the ice in my breath
piercing your skin with flames
the living dead girl I am I said
flesh attached to a shadow
deprived of poetic rhythmic rhymes
my words melt like burning candles
the (wh)y in ‘you’ belongs to me
my answers frozen within your heart
THE GYPSYWOMAN AND THE MOON
[Written by Elf - 26 October 2009]
I slowly draw the curtains closed
blinded by the light of the darkness
as a quarter of the rising moon
bids my upside down setting smile farewell
the stars melt in the corners of my eyes
drowning the seams of the mask on my face
a tide of memories washes away but not
rinsing the symphony of your name on my lips
GAME OVER
[Written by Elf – 01 November 2009]
die doolhof van my gedagtes
binne die ruimte van n vierkant
bring my telkens voor n skaakmat te staan
eenrigtingstrate en cul de sac’s
teen elke randsteen soek ek jou naam
op die spore van gister soek ek jou vandag
die metamorfose van n eens godin
jóú eens godin nou n pion
sit ek vandag kruisbeen onttroon
op die randsteen van jou spel
EYES SHUT OPEN
[Written by Elf – 01 November 2009]
colour fades into shades of grey
and little candles light up the sky
solitude pours me a glass of wine
an untold remembrance of you and I
while the trees are sleeping
the ravens never shut their eyes
you raised me up and made me whole
simultaneously orchestrating my demise
colourblind I embrace the rainbow
as you blow the candles one by one
I raise my glass with a Mona Lisa smile
where once you were now is none
DIE BESEF
[Written by Elf – 03 December 2009]
die lappop
ruggraatloos saamgestel
uit flenterlap
van gister se verblykte
oulap-se-rooi-maak-mooi
harteloos opgestop
met oorskiet whatever
neem verlief met die
geborduurde geforseerde smile
van kombers-steek garedraad
knopies-oë wat star
strak en koud uitstaar
na die erens in nerens
dan eendag onverwags
nuwe hande om die vuil materiaal te voel
skoon vingers wat kneukel-wit vashou aan n siel
wat verniel en vergete op die ashoop le
en daarmee die eggo
van ‘n (weer) besef
dat my lappop arms
bewegingloos bly hang
al word ek hoe styf vasgehou
want ek het vergeet om te voel
.. en iemand het n lappop op die ashoop weggegooi ..
PULLING ME INTO MISERY
[Written by Elf – 10 December 2009]
puppet on a string
heart on a sleeve
song to say goodbye
as you prepare to leave
withholding the truth
in those unintended lies
cursed by a spell
as I drown in your eyes
stupid rhymes
emotions fade
muscles tighten
when you twist the blade
puppet on a string
heart on a platter
I was the one
that did not matter
TEARS OF A CLOWN
[Written by Elf – 18 December 2009]
his silent cry melts down his face
but who will catch his falling tears
is he merely misunderstood
or seeking recognition of is fears
a masquerade of one-way glass
which doesn’t tell what lies behind
disguised as a cold hard heart
a pot of gold is what you’ll find
when the moon is out and stars shine bright
he whispers a wish for his demise
overlooking the prayer for him to hold on
written in braille in their blind eyes
ESCAPE
[Written by Elf – 03 January 2010]
a shadow ahead in my past
as you walk closer away from me
silhouette soldier’s eb and flow
drowning me deeper in your sea
your current takes my hand
as it waltzes me to the core
where truth be told, you will be mine
forever nevermore
NOT IN A GOOD PLACE
[Written by Elf – 17 January 2010]
dark spaces
empty faces
the silence of a scream
you lived in my head
left me for dead
pieces of a broken dream
DIE SKADU VAN MY SIEL
[Written by Elf – 18 Maart 2010]
my siel wil vandag in die skadu van joune
wegloop na waar die branders se sproeireën
saggies op die lens val
terwyl die druk van ‘n knoppie
‘n klanklose weergawe van hierdie onthou-oomblik verewig
my siel wil vandag in die skadu van joune
kaalvoet-katvoet oor ons voetpad draf
tot by die bankie
waar ons stil bewoë
na die oop water-graf van Margaret staar
my siel wil vandag in die skadu van joune
oor die rotse klim
tot waar die wind die jou klokhelder lag
as die see se grootste geheim
in die skulp van my oor kom fluister
my siel wil vandag in die skadu van joune
tussen die swartriete sit
langs ons murasie-monument
waar die son in die horison verdrink
en ek my hart goedsmoeds in joune begrawe
INTERLUDE
[Written by Elf – 30 March 2010]
wat is die kinderlike verslawing binne my
wat jou goedsmoeds toelaat
om yo-yo te speel met my hart
gevoelens aan die einde van n tou geknoop
wat jy weggooi en inkatrol
vir jou eie vermaak
en in die karnaval van die lewe
my kneukelwit vas te hou
in die stoel van n uitskopswaai
RHAPSODY
[Written by Elf – 30 March 2010]
toegerus met slegs een oktaaf en n enkele alfabet
het jy metafories parabolies
vir my n droom gekomponeer
tipografies die alliterasie van jou klanke vir my geskets
en in kortverhaal-formaat
ons kort verhaal te gou vertel
toegerus met slegs een oktaaf en n enkele alfabet
drink my ore die frommel van jou leuens
op die ironiese melodie van altyd-onthou
WASTING TIME
[Written by Elf – 11 April 2010]
I scramble the words and juggle the spaces
to find the meaning hidden between
your sweet hello and unspoken goodbye
the ending I have not foreseen
but you made me stronger
as I learn from my mistakes
never will I trust again
despite how my heart aches
these empty words they pass the time
while I myself despise
‘cause if I were offered the chance to choose
I’d drown all over in your eyes
RUSSIAN ROULETTE
[Written By Elf – 27 April 2010]
russian roulette
my heart on the floor
your bullet unexpected
I’m yours nevermore
ravens disguised as
black fireflies
no longer will you
be my demise
you can’t hold me down
I’m stronger than you
your love was a lie
mine was true
my heart is mine
forever to hold
your bullet unexpected
my heart stone cold
VENSTERKAT
[Written by Elf – 29 April 2010]
die akoestiese stilte van n kat in die venster
met wense onuitgesproke
fluister sy geheime vir die maan
trap op splinters van gebroke drome
steenkool donker nag
absorbeer my in jou swart
skink vir die harlekyn nog wyn
plak n pleister vir die smart
genees my met die wysie
van vingers wat oor klawers dans
skinder met jou woorde
vir my n tweede kans
rou eerlikheid getoonset
op elke liewe snaar
n pyl deur seil met vuur
deur die son-maan-en-sterre bewaar
vensterkat ek wens vir jou
n rooi tapyt van fluweel
mag die soet smaak van sukses
jou kaalvoet-waarheid streel
GRIEKS
[Written by Elf – 24 May 2010]
seisoene verander voortdurend
soos die wiskunde tussen ek en jy
ek het minder geword met jou wegstap
en tog is daar nou soveel meer van my
THE ECHOES OF SILENCE
[Written by Elf – 19 April 2011]
i fought your love
until the very end
the gypsy won
i lost my best friend
GOING NOWHERE SLOWLY
[Written by Elf - 26 May 2011]
some people feel lost in darkness
others are blinded by light
I watch the hours as they pass me by
my day begins at night
for when the world falls into slumber
and twinkle little stars shine bright
I wipe my tears and say a prayer
before my heart takes to flight
but motionless it beats
nowhere close to the sky
then I remember
broken wings can’t fly
Ek wens ek kon so mooi skryf. Jy het werklik talent
Lyk my hier gaan ek nog baie ure spandeer!
Your words bring me home. Where i let no-one else in. Where i can be, feel, remember…
Hier is ek weer………..im am addicted!
Lekker dag!
En hier kom maak ek kennis met trane in my oë.
my vingers wil nie oorvertel wat my hart en trane verklap…. ek is wraggies bevoorreg om jou my vriendin te noem…. – skuil in jou skadu, speelend tussen jou woorde – DANKIE…
(ps – Ashes….het weereens my hart geruk)